The first 12 months of the child are the ones you will want to return to every time the longing will be too hard to bear.
- The first sound
- The first caress
- The first kiss
- The first meal taken at the mother's breast
- The first hug in 3
- The first song
- The first dance in pajamas
- The first outing in nature in the full formula
- The first mouthful of vegetable cream soup accompanied even by the first grimace
- The first mouthful of water
- The first steps...
Everything for the first time! These memories will be so strongly imprinted in your memory and soul that it is absolutely necessary to be there! Be present both with your whole being and with all your senses open!
This would be the main advice I give you! Give up anything that will consume resources unnecessarily and redirect them to your home! With these moments you will not meet again! Even if you have another child, it will be different!
In this guide I will develop more ideas about this first year of the baby in the family's breast. I hope you have the time and patience to go through it completely.
Listen to your hearts
I know that the theory says to let the baby sleep in his crib , otherwise you favor the emergence of a dependency on the parents that you will hardly get rid of. Or there is the risk of flattening it during sleep.
But, in practice, this is difficult to achieve. Especially when you hear him crying!
Therefore, listen to what the heart will say, not just the mind!
You can make an exception and sleep with it on your chest, while sitting more than lying down. Thus, your breaths will be in harmony, and your bodies will be in an embrace of love.
Anyway, the only one who will sleep deeply is the little one... or the father, depending on the situation. The mother sleeps more like a "bunny", with one eye open and the other half-open.
The role of observer
In your noble intentions to teach him how to learn certain skills, it is possible to slip into the extreme where you always correct him.
Your role as parents is to guide him, to give him the tools he needs and to observe how he uses them.
This does not mean that you do not intervene at all, but rather it means that you let him try on his own, even if he will still make mistakes.
There was also a saying that sounded something like this: "Rather than always giving the child fish, it's better to give him a fishing rod and teach him to fish!"
Intervene only when you see that he really needs help and only to offer suggestions. Avoid doing things for him as much as possible.
Whether we are talking about building a tower with the help of cubes or eating soup with a spoon, give him the chance to develop his autonomy!
You will be surprised how much it can do, despite the fact that it is small!
The curly cloak
From time to time you can take your child's cape to play with the little one. Invent funny stories, run with him, tickle you, "fight" with pillows ( here you can find cute decorative pillows )... anything that brings a smile to your face and a sense of well-being in the house.
Even when you go to the park with him, don't be ashamed to be more playful!
And to be sure that you don't appear on the front page of the newspaper, wait until it gets a little dark to be able to ride the train on the slide.
The message behind
Any less pleasant manifestation of the child can hide a message. The behavior he displays on the outside is the way he communicates with you about what is inside him. That is until he reaches the level of development that will allow him to translate his experiences and feelings into words.
Learn how to decode these messages. Emotional intelligence plays a primary role!
If you know how to recognize emotions, differentiate them and associate them with the ways of manifestation that you identify in your child, then you will manage a crisis much more easily (crying, anger, etc.).
The ticket to the "lunatic hospital"
If we have mentioned the emotional sphere, I invite you to also address the subject of the mother's postpartum depression.
Some say it's a myth and that this depression doesn't really exist.
I assure you that it is as real as possible and should not be ignored!
Dear mother, know that you are far from crazy, although some may call you that! All the changes you went through during pregnancy, at the time of birth and after it left a strong impression on you!
It is possible to feel the need to be left alone, to stay longer in bed, to cry for a long time. Sometimes you will be unable to manage the emotions that try you and you will behave less pleasantly with those around you (unintentionally). Those girls of yours are actually a cry for help!
Yell because you want to be understood, to have your feelings validated, not to be judged!
You need love, empathy and unconditional support. Especially from your husband!
If you receive all of the above, but you still feel that you are not well and that you no longer recognize yourself, I advise you to contact a specialist (psychotherapist) or a priest (if you are Orthodox).
Both your mind and your soul must be healed in order to succeed in being the mother that the little one needs so much!
Finally, I want to urge you to take advantage of this year, because it will pass by unnoticed.
Create valuable memories and strong relationships that will last for decades!
Open your eyes wide and learn to live from your own child! It will act like a compass when you get lost in the darkness of everyday worries and stress. You will also learn from him what true joy means, springing from seemingly insignificant things.
In this first year of life, be like some bees that collect the nectar of flowers!
Collect everything that is best and useful so that you can use it later on in your trip!
