The first 12 months of your baby are the ones you will want to return to every time the longing becomes too much to bear.
- The first sound
- The first caress
- The first kiss
- The first meal taken at the mother's breast
- First hug in 3
- The first song
- First dance in pajamas
- First outing in nature in full form
- The first mouthful of vegetable cream soup accompanied even by the first grimace
- The first mouthful of water
- The first steps...
Everything for the first time! These memories will be imprinted so strongly in your memory and soul that it is absolutely necessary for you to be there! Be present with both your whole being and with all your senses open!
This would be the main advice I give you! Give up anything that will consume your resources unnecessarily and redirect them towards your home! You will never meet these moments again! Even if you have another child, it will be different!
In this guide I will develop several ideas regarding this first year of your baby in the family. I hope you have the time and patience to go through it in its entirety.
Listen to your hearts.
I know the theory is that you should let your baby sleep in his crib , otherwise you encourage a dependency on your parents that you will have a hard time getting rid of. Or there is the risk of squashing him while he sleeps.
But, in practice, this is difficult to achieve. Especially when you hear him crying!
So, listen to what your heart tells you, not just your mind!
You can make an exception and sleep with him on your chest, while sitting more than lying down. This way, your breathing will be in harmony, and your bodies will be in a loving embrace.
Anyway, the only one who will sleep deeply is the little one... or the father, depending on the situation. The mother sleeps more like a "rabbit", with one eye open and the other half-open.
The role of observer
In your noble intentions of teaching him how to learn certain skills, it's possible that you might slip into the extreme of constantly correcting him.
Your role as parents is to guide him, to give him the tools he needs and to observe how he uses them.
This doesn't mean that you don't intervene at all, but rather that you let him try on his own, even if he still makes mistakes.
There was also a saying that went something like this: "Rather than always giving a child a fish, it's better to give him a fishing rod and teach him to fish!"
Only intervene when you see that he really needs help and only to offer suggestions. Avoid doing things for him as much as possible.
Whether we're talking about building a tower with blocks or eating soup with a spoon, give him the chance to develop his autonomy!
You'll be surprised how much it can do, despite being small!
The curly cloak
From time to time, you can take off your baby's cape to play with your little one. Invent funny stories, run with him, tickle him, "fight" with pillows (you can find cute decorative pillows here )... anything that will bring a smile to your face and a sense of well-being to your home.
Even when you go to the park with him, don't be shy about being more playful!
And to make sure you don't appear on the front page of the newspaper, wait until it gets a little dark before you can take the roller coaster.
The message behind
Any less than pleasant manifestation of the baby can hide a message. The behavior that he displays on the outside is the way he communicates with you about what is inside him. This is until he reaches the level of development that will allow him to translate his feelings and emotions into words.
Learn how to decode these messages. Emotional intelligence plays a key role!
If you know how to recognize emotions, differentiate them, and associate them with the ways of manifestation that you identify in your child, then you will manage a crisis (crying, anger, etc.) much more easily.
The ticket to the “mad hospital”
While we're on the subject of the emotional sphere, I invite you to also address the topic of maternal postnatal depression.
Some say it's a myth and that this depression doesn't really exist.
I assure you that it is as real as can be and should not be ignored!
Dear mom, know that you are far from crazy, although some might call you that! All the changes you went through during pregnancy, at the time of birth and after it have left a strong mark on you!
You may feel the need to be left alone, to stay in bed longer, to cry longer. Sometimes you will be unable to manage the emotions that are trying you and you will behave less pleasantly with those around you (unintentionally). Those screams of yours are actually a cry for help!
You scream because you want to be understood, to have your feelings validated, not to be judged!
You need love, empathy, and unconditional support. Especially from your husband!
If you receive all of the above, but still feel that you are not well and that you no longer recognize yourself, I advise you to turn to a specialist (psychotherapist) or a spiritual father (if you are Orthodox).
Both your mind and soul must be healed in order to be the mother your baby needs so much!
Finally, I want to urge you to take advantage of this year, because it will pass by quickly.
Create valuable memories and strong relationships that will last for decades!
Open your eyes wide and learn to live from your own child! He will act like a compass when you get lost in the darkness of everyday worries and stress. From him you will also learn what true joy means, springing from seemingly insignificant things.
In this first year of life, be like bees collecting nectar from flowers!
Collect all the best and most useful things so you can use them later on your journey!
